Nelson Mandela - how times have changed

"The ANC is a typical terrorist organisation ... Anyone who thinks it is going to run the government in South Africa is living in cloud-cuckoo land" - Margaret Thatcher, 1987

"How much longer will the Prime Minister allow herself to be kicked in the face by this black terrorist?' - Terry Dicks, Conservative MP, mid-1980s

"Nelson Mandela should be shot" - Teddy Taylor Conservative MP, mid-1980s

"A great light has gone out in the world. Nelson Mandela was a hero of our time. I've asked for the flag at No10 to be flown at half-mast." - David Cameron, 5th December 2013

Which parliament serves its people better ?

Last Wednesday our parliament spent over seven hours praising Thatcher  (at our expense).  Bercow had initially refused Cameron's request, saying we can do it next Monday when we meet anyway.  Miliband backed Cameron and Bercow gave way.

Yesterday, the New Zealand parliament voted on the definition of marriage.  See what happened when marriage between same sex partners was approved.    The House of Commons often leaves me close to tears but not for a good reason.  Time to emigrate ?

Thatcher's Funeral

Some people have commented upon the cost of Lady Thatcher's funeral.  The following script from 2008 showed some foresight.
Script

Part	Words / Actions
[directions]	[Margaret Thatcher sitting on stage; pulls hair spray from her handbag and sprays her hair.]
[F/X]	[Knock at the door]
Thatcher	Dennis! Dennis, do see who it is!
[F/X]	[More knocks at the door]
Thatcher	Oh yes, of course. Dennis was phased out. [shouts] Come in. We are at home.
[directions]	[Enter civil servant]
CS	Lady Thatcher? Good afternoon, your ladyship.
Thatcher	Yes, what do you want?
CS	I’m from the Cabinet Office. Gordon Brown sent me.
Thatcher	Brown? Isn’t he the one who wants to be prime minister but has no idea why? So unlike that dear Mr Blair... [mind wanders] How is Mr Blair?
CS	He resigned, your ladyship.
Thatcher	Then who’s running the country?
CS	Mr Brown is, your ladyship
Thatcher	Oh dear... Anyway, come to the point. What do you want?
CS	It’s rather a delicate matter, your ladyship…
Thatcher	Oh God! What’s Mark done now?
CS	It’s not Mark. It’s you, your ladyship.
Thatcher	They want me back? I knew the day would come! We are ready!
CS	Not quite, your ladyship. It’s about your funeral.

Thatcher	We are not dead and we have no intention of dying. The lady’s not for burning!
CS	The Prime Minister has asked me…
Thatcher	[interrupts] Ah dear, dear Tony, such a good disciple...
CS	Gordon Brown, your ladyship. He has asked me to prepare your State Funeral.
Thatcher	Yes, well I suppose we must do it properly. I expect a full display of our nation’s military prowess, culminating in the sinking of an Argentinian battleship.
CS	The Prime Minister feels that the country owes you a lot…
Thatcher	Does he really? He’s not as bad as I thought. You know, even a broken clock is right twice a day.
CS	The PM wants your funeral to reflect the great contribution you have made to our nation’s history.
Thatcher	Just rejoice, rejoice! We must have everyone there. Everyone except Ted Heath, of course... Oh I forgot. He was phased out.
CS	Heads of State will be invited.
Thatcher	That nice General Pinochet...
CS	I’m afraid he’s… been phased out too.
Thatcher	I don’t want that wet Etonian, Cameron. Tony will come of course. But not that dreadful wife; she’s a bit left wing. Tony can give the eulogy and bring his friend Mr Berlusconi.
CS	Mr Blair can also bring his friend Cliff Richard, who will sing an appropriate song…
Thatcher	‘Living Doll’?
CS	No, I was thinking more, ‘Power to all our friends’.
Thatcher	What about Ronald? He was so helpful in the Falklands. I promised to follow him to the end of the earth – and he offered to arrange it.
CS	So sorry. President Reagan has also been phased out. But all the leading members of society will be there.
Thatcher	There is no such thing as society! But I do want the band of the Grenadier Guards.
CS	There’s just one thing, your ladyship. Mr Brown wants your funeral to reflect your own values…
Thatcher	Well it could hardly reflect his. We don’t know what they are.

  

CS	…and therefore I am afraid that the Guards Band is unlikely…
Thatcher	Why not? The lady wants them and the lady’s not for turning!
CS	[Aside] Not even in the grave. [To Thatcher] I’m afraid the budget may not permit, although the Grenadier Guards might make the winning bid...
Thatcher	Bid?
CS	Yes, your ladyship. Bid.
Thatcher	But whatever for?
CS	Yes, your Ladyship. As a mark of respect, we will be putting the State Funeral out to Compulsory Competitive Tender.
[directions]	[lights out]

[ENDS]

So, farewell Margaret Thatcher

(Margaret Thatcher waving from Central Office after winning the 1983 election.  The building is now Europe House, HQ of the European Parliament in London. Ha !)

Never since the death of Princess Diana has so much been said and written in 24 hours about one dead person.  Some of the eulogies had me reaching for the sick bag, but nor could I join those who are tempted to echo Thatcher's own words, "Just rejoice, rejoice !".  I did rejoice greatly when she lost power but the death of someone who once held power years ago does not provoke gaudeamus igitur.

I will not add to the litany of praise and blame but this story will suffice. One day in the early '90s I was walking in the Cuillins with Lord Bonkers and my son Charlie.   As we returned to Glen Brittle we were overtaken by a thin, elderly, bearded man.  As we removed our walking boots at the car we could see him becoming very agitated in the telephone box. (The Glen Brittle telephone box was a vital resource.   You were advised to ring a friend before setting out and ring again on returning.   If you failed to call the second time, your friend could alert the mountain rescue.)  The professor (it turned out that he really was) emerged from the box and we asked him what was the matter.    He told us the telephone didn't work and his mother (God knows how old she was) would be getting at the gin as he was late in calling.   "I teach nuclear physics but I can't make the phone work", he expostulated.  He had managed to get through to an operator to complain.  The operator wouldn't put his call through, told him it wasn't a BT telephone but refused to divulge which company did operate the box.   (We're getting there. Bear with).   At this point, he drew his conclusion, "Margaret Thatcher ruined this country", then he drew breath and added "Mind you, I'm not a socialist".   He was of course one of us, invigorated by mountain air, exasperated by failing technology, a Liberal expressing the outrage that we all feel in our hearts.

Where were Blair's tears ?

I never thought I would have something good to say about Margaret Thatcher but archives released by Churchill College reveal that she understood what her decisions meant for soldiers and sailors, even weeping over the loss of HMS Sheffield.    I doubt that papers released in future will show such concern by Tony Blair over the lives he destroyed in Iraq through his lies and cavalier attitude to war and invasion.

Real Liberal not Fake Tory

Bad news about Fraser Nelson’s interview with Nick Clegg in the Spectator Daniel Hannan and others have spun it to link Nick with Thatcher. In the interview Nick was claiming that Liberalism requires standing up to vested interests and that just as Thatcher stood up to the Trade Unions, so he will stand up to the banks. I can see that the comparison may have appeal to older Middle England Tory voters but of course it will be spun all over the place by hostile journalists in the mass media while few of the Spectator’s rather small readership will vote anything but Tory, so perhaps not the best strategy. Anyway I well remember Margaret Thatcher borrowing Liberal rhetoric on the economy but her government’s conduct of the economy was not genuinely Liberal as she only stood up to vested interests which opposed her and did nothing about those which supported her like the defence industry (notably BAe) and the brewers. I fear that Nick’s trying to sound tough again. As Liberator has often said, “Give people a choice between a real Tory and an imitation Tory and they will always chose the real one.” Much better to offer a real Liberal, which I believe Nick is.

The strange case of Jack Straw, justice, Gary McKinnon and General Pinochet

As Home Secretary Jack Straw evaded his legal obligation to extradite murderer and torturer Pinochet by saying that he was unfit to face trial. Pinochet returned home to greet his supporters showing no signs of unfitness. Even tea with Margaret Thatcher hadn't made him sick.

Perhaps as Minister of Justice, Straw might see the case for refusing to extradite Gary McKinnon as unfit to face trial, or does that get-out-of-jail free card only apply to corrupt dictators and not to UFO-geeks with aspergers. I don't suppose Straw will stop the extradition. Giving him the post of "Secretary of State for Justice" truly took New Labour into the realms of 1984.

MPs' expenses: ask the tax man

The country is awash with proposals for reforming the system of MPs' expenses and allowances (Lynn Truss, please note position of apostrophe). Here are two more. Firstly, remove certain support functions from individual expenses altogether. For example, parliament itself should employ the support staff, as happens in the European Parliament. (It would be helpful if leading members of the Liberal Democrats could refrain from cheap cracks about "the Brussels gravy train" and perhaps learn some lessons from the EP instead). Secondly, pay MPs a higher salary and let HMRC decide which expenses are allowable as wholly, necessarily and exclusively incurred in the course of work. This would put MPs on the same footing as all citizens. There would still be disputed items but the decision would lie with the taxman and the courts, not the House of Commons fees office operating special rules for MPs.

Incidentally, according to Michael Brown, former Tory MP, Margaret Thatcher is to blame as she blocked a salary increase and introduced allowances instead, thus deceiving the electorate.

That Man Attlee

During party conferences some of us gather for dinner and some bring guests. About 20 years ago I found myself next to a man from the Alliance Party of Northern Ireland. I told him all I knew about his party came from a Radio 4 play. He replied that he wrote it. He was Robin Glendinning. Today Radio 4 repeated his play about the 1945 General Election and Clement Attlee. Click on the link in the next seven days if you want to hear it.

The play reminds us how admirable Attlee was and just how far the Labour Party has sunk since then in the hands of Tony Blair and people who invite Margaret Thatcher to tea.